So sorry fluffy - big huggles to you too.
Cotton I've got my fingers crossed for your daughter, hope it's nothing too serious.
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What is your mood???
Niobe, I am sorry to hear about your grampa... at this point the best thing to do is to pray for him.
Fluffy, I am sorry about your loss. My sincere condolescence to your family. and Cotton, I hope your daughter is fine, and that's nothing serious. What a though Monday!  Last edited by Clemmy on Tue May 09, 2006 5:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Friend is a second self." -- Aristotle
...very heavy news' here.
Niobe, to just wait for a dear one to die IS painful. But I'm sadder to know that he was a shell for the last many years. I hate when that happens, like Alzhiemers etc. i just hate it And even though fluffy's loss is similar there is some relief that it was quick  ... Cotton, I hope it's nothing bad....
Hang on folks, I wish for things to get better... -
I am sorry to hear about your relatives.... and again and again I want to say: It is not honestly! "I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever." JC
(\(\.........../)/) (=',').......(','=) (..(")(")(")(")..)
Niobe. When I lived in Maryland with my parents and grandparents (my mother's mom and dad moved from Arkansas)...grandpa had heart surgery and lost his good vision...so he'd been really depressed..This was NOT the grandpa I remembered from every year of my youth...the one who showed me how to clean bluegills and let me shoot blue jays with the BB gun sooooo I constantly joked with him and if I'd go to a debate tournament and win...I'd put all the medals outside his bedroom door.. He did ultimately snap out of it..I lived in the house for a few years 'till I got my own place (3 miles away). My grandparents celebrated their 60th anniversary there. With every available relative....it was SO nice.
One night grandpa got confused and completely disoriented. We called the ambulance, but he refused it...and even signed the refusal. It happened again and all he wanted us to do was let him go to bed. Well, we had told him that if it happened again....he had to go to the hospital and so he was upset and lay down on his bed. I said to mom, "This isn't right....he needs to be checked out." When we re entered his bedroom he was muttering and out of it. We went to the hospital and they admitted him (he had come around a bit in the ambulance.) They would not let Nana stay by his side once he was in a room. When we went the next morning, he had had a massive stroke overnight. I had bought him balloons that day and he would reach for them and nibble on the ribbons...but he was just GONE. I got him to smile a few times, but it really was close to over. And I couldn't help thinking about how much richer my life was because my grandparents were in it. I think he died at 2am and the hospital called to tell us. We waited till morning to tell Grandma. I can't believe HOW WELL she dealt with it. She had been the one in kind of compromised health. We all thought Grandpa would be incapacitated if she died first. But he went. And that's good because I don't know how well he would have handled my mom's brain tumor. It basically took my grandma's brain when she was told about it. "When in doubt, tell the truth."
Mark Twain
Fluffy, I'm really sorry to hear about your uncle. It must be one hell of a shock for you all. A death like that is hard for the folks left behind, having no warning makes it almost unbelievable to take in. I'm thinking about you and hope your family are supporting each other.
And Cotton, I hope your daughter is OK too. What parent doesn't worry about their child?...and then for a doctor to say they have concerns. My fingers are crossed it's nothing too serious. I've been on numerous trips to hospital with my little fella since he was a few months old. They heard a heart murmur, but after many tests they've decided it's completely harmless.  So things can turn out fine....
Anyway, as for my Grandad...I can hardly believe it myself....but he's still hanging on in there. We'd never have thought this yesterday morning when we all rushed over to his nursing home after we'd been told to 'hurry' as he was worsening. We sat with him all day and he seemed to rally a bit. He's a fighter. Yet, it's all just prolonging the 'agony' as there is no doubt he's dying. His breathing is erratic and often stops altogether...you think he's gone....then somehow he comes back. It's hard to watch. He's just skins and bones now.
I sat with him along yesterday for a bit and talked with him, holding his hand. For a man who seems to have recognised no-one in ages.....when I said it was me and started talking about the things he did with us when I was young, my brother, my son (who he barely knows).....he squeezed my hand real hard and pulled me close. I'm convinced he understood and knew it was me. Now, he's very unresponsive, which makes me all the more grateful I had that moment yesterday. 
It's his 89th birthday today! 
Quirky, it is hard to watch a grandparent change (or anyone close for that matter) and almost become unrecognisable as the person you cherished. I totally empathise with that right now. Part of me feels like I've been mourning the loss of my Grandad for years....and now I'm just completing that mourning as he physically fades away now. Memories.....that's what keep you going. Everybody should believe in something.
I believe I'll have another coffee! 
you've had a chance to say goodbye..........that's something special......hold onto it........and in the time you have left with him tell him how much you love him..........they say hearing is the last to go......
it's my auntie i'm really feeling for........3 years ago her daughter died of cancer, last year her father (grandpa) died and now she's been widowed........all that and she has to bring up her daughter's 5 year old and guide her 18 year old..............Fridays' gonna be a sad day indeed...... fluffy ps.......thanks for all your words of kindness and support folks.........i appreciate it. x Fluffy
Fluffy, any funeral is hard...but I think your uncle's is gonna be real hard. I feel for your auntie. She's had some real blows these past few years. I guess you just have to offer what support you can for her. I know I am biased, because I counsel, but if she hasn't already utilised a counselling service I am sure it would help her move her life forward and try and accept what's happened in her life.
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, as some old know-it-all once said!
I told my Dad the hearing was the last thing to go, so we do talk to him. My Dad finds that hard, but he's a bloke who's always found it hard to express his emotion. Part of me likes to think he can hear us still.....even when we are chatting to each other. He'll know we are there with him. Everybody should believe in something.
I believe I'll have another coffee!
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