Jimothy

[lammy]

It just sucks when people say things they don't mean . Then they get ones hopes high for nothing - for them to fall to the ground and feel like their words don't matter . I am starting to feel like that for this one special man -

[cable girl]

Wow Jess - the person you're talking about sounds truly amazing! I've had an encounter like that in my life too, but it didn't work out either. "You live, you learn, you love, you burn" as Titiyo sings in her song "Longing For Lullabies". All you can do is cherish the memories, and move on. Unfortunately. There are times I would give anything to be able to go back to the one who got away from me. But it simply weren't ment to be.

[fluffy]

ahh....what a lot of masochists we are ....somehow the pain becomes as addictive as the passions themselves.. my guess is Jim has a masochistic streak too.......lol...switching to sadist...... .......oh how complex we burn.......lol

fluffy

[lammy]

I am still trying to understand why we must hurt in this world in order to grow . Can't we grow from happier things than grow from pain .

[fluffy]

We grow from both......but you can't truely appreciate the light if you've not experienced the dark.........you need both to open your heart and mind.

fluffy

[lammy]

If you only knew my soul ... you'd say " wow , you really are something else " . Nothing surprises me .
[/b]

[fluffy]

...........lol........me too........me too.......lol

fluffy

[lammy]

[Jess]

HAHA! I'm SO very incredibly ready to experience the light.......but I can't FIND it in all this dark! I did find it at one point, but the moment I found it someone shut that light right back off. Jimothy was a light to me.

And Cable Girl, you are right, he was truly amazing to me! Everything he was, everything he is and everything, every life experience that made him who he is to this day, I cherished. And now, I just long for him again. But then again, maybe that is wrong of me, maybe I'm being too selfish. Maybe it wouldn't be the same and those wonderful memories I have would become tainted if he came back. I don't know. I guess, I should be happy for what I had with him. It's like Hellen Keller said, "When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

[Canadian Jayne]

If what you two had was so wonderful maybe he wanted you to take that light and share it with someone else, like a passing of the torch. Although you've already had it, all light was meant to be shared. You have to keep that light burning, just remembering the good times and sharing the same good times with someone else, like a domino effect.
Longing for him will only keep you in the past and can give way to making it more that what it was. The past should be cherished the future shared. Take the good times and moments he shared with you and share with another maybe someone else needs the same help somewhere out there.
I think of the song I would sing with my roomates years ago I think it's an old camp song.
"It only takes a spark to get a fire burning, and soon all those around will light(warm)up with it's glowing, that's how it is with God's love once you've experienced it"" I think it's called "Pass it on"

[fluffy]

That's a lovely way of looking at things CJ. You could look at all experiences like that...like passing on the torch of wisdom....

fluffy

[cable girl]

And now, I just long for him again. But then again, maybe that is wrong of me, maybe I'm being too selfish. Maybe it wouldn't be the same and those wonderful memories I have would become tainted if he came back. I don't know. I guess, I should be happy for what I had with him.

Well, if I were you I'd contact that person again! Life is too short to continue to wonder what might've been. Since you talked for so long together, needless to say - you must've been very special to him as well. God knows I've thought about a million times to patch things up with the person who ment as much to me as Jimothy means to you. So why I haven't? Because I can't shake the feeling of constantly being lied to. At the same time as having more fun than I've ever had with a human being I was indeed dealing with the biggest hypocrite that I've ever met in my whole life too. And I deserve to be treated way better than that!
So what is stopping you from contacting Jimothy again? If the memories are as wonderful as you say they are there's no way you wouldn't be able to share more of those!! If I were you I wouldn't hesitate for a second! Life is absolutely nothing without wonderful friends around you!

[fluffy]

easier said than done... ...he has to want to be contacted...my guess is it would be easier to contact the Dalai lama, At least he goes on regular world tours..........

fluffy

[lammy]

I want to be contacted ... Does he want to contact me -

[Jess]

HAHA! The Dali Lama! This is true....he probably would be easier to get a hold of.

And Cable Girl, that's why I'm here, I'm here in hopes that I can regain contact. He severed all and any ties or any way for me to contact him, and as Fluffy said....he has to want to be contacted too. So I'm puting myself out there once again - I'm going to try, I just have to know. I have to be able to put it to rest and feel good about it so that throughout the rest of my life, I won't continue wondering what might have been, or why it worked out as it did.

I just miss my dear friend.